Because I can't "not talk about it".
My home was wreaked by a tragedy and while it only affected a small few, it sent ripples through everyone. We lost a baby, a child that was within days of the age my son. This child died because of something terrible- addiction. I'm not concerned with the rest of the details. To me this has only 2 points, a beautiful life is gone, a baby girl that should have grown, lived, covered in beauty and life will never get that chance. The only other point to me, is that her death was preventable.
Here it is: we all want to sit in condemnation because the outrage of a the death of 13 month old. We relate it our children and because of the media reports we see clear reason to lynch the guilty parities. What does that do? It only adds more pain to a tragedy. What does that serve?
This is my home. This epidemic of addiction belongs to me because it happens right under my nose. It happens right inside my facebook feed. It happens to people I know. It is so easy to sit and judge the guilty but how many people knew these parents were struggling? How many of us tried? Who reached out? Where did we come in love? Because there is no room to sit in judgment if we never extended a hand, and if the excuse is "well I didn't know them" then how did you know enough to judge it.
My mother a substance abuse social worker. Straight out of the gate I was taught about the ugliness of addiction. She sees it everyday too. Unless we begin to treat this differently, this will happen again. It's happening right now.
There is some hope here, regarding the particular tragedy I mention. That hope also falls to us. Instead of sitting in judgment and condemnation we as a community could come in love and say enough. We can support local substance abuse programs, we can quit condemning guilty, we can quit standing idlely by. There is wound here and it is massive but everyone could be a part the healing. Am I probably kidding myself? Sure, but I would rather a be a fool to hope that love could cover this sin- than a part of the lynch mob.
I did not sit in their shoes, I did not live in their mind, I did not face their demons. I was not there and as I am also not a part of the legal proceedings, my opinion is null. A friend of mine said "Sometimes you can't protect the ones you love for yourself." That is so true. Have you ever had too many and driven home? You could've killed a baby. Have you ever driven high? You could've killed a baby- or a family.
Have you ever struggled with addiction so strong you were paralyzed by it? You assess your risk and your vice and because it hasn't happened yet you can judge. Do you see what I mean?
I am a mother. Substance abuse and addiction hurt children. I've seen it. I lived it. It's everyone's problem. If we want it to stop, we have to be a part of that change. So the next time you're outraged- try channeling it into something that will help:
Donate- if you cannot donate
Volunteer- if you cannot volunteer-
Educate- because there is always something you can do.