"You are then trapped with your poisonous hate."
The road to peace is difficult and long. It goes hand in hand with the road of love. You can't have one without the other. These particular path's are harder, because you have to let go of what hurts you while giving those people the right to. Love is the action and peace is the state of being.
"I could verbally murder someone."
When I'm angry, when someone has wronged me, my immediate reaction is to get pissed off. I could verbally murder someone. There are many times I'd like too and if not to their face to someone else. If I'm going to act with maturity, with the peace and love I so desire- I don't get to do that.
We live in the world of "tweets" and "statuses"- we can indirectly or directly bitch at whoever we want. We can "call them out". It's acceptable. If I choose to practice what I preach, I can't do that.
If this comes off preachy-
If this has come off rather preachy, I'm sorry. I don't mean it that way. I say all of this mostly to myself.
See, I get wounded and it festers. I get easily bitter. What I've learned as an adult is that happiness is the best "revenge". However, you can't build happiness out of bitterness or vengeance. You can't build happiness on the back of discontent and misery. Be it your own or someone else's. So you have to let it go.
this is where I get very real.
There's a person in my life, who said- in anger- in front of my children no less- they wished my husband dead. They were angry. That person went on and said other cruel things to the world- things that made me weep-about my husband.
When that person has needed help and called us, my husband went over and helped them. He did so without ever expecting a "Thank you" or even an "I'm sorry". What he did do- was acknowledge his part in why he made them angry in the first place. Then treat them with utter love and compassion. It's incredible.
Don't mistake me, my husband isn't a doormat. He addresses wrong if the situation calls for it. He also doesn't allow people in his life who behave inappropriately. He has an incredible capacity for love and he has plenty of reasons if he wanted to behave differently. He doesn't take them. He's taught me, indirectly, how to handle wounds.
This is to you, it's worth it.
If you have been wronged, wounded, or mistreated- I'm so sorry. Finding peace doesn't nullify or justify the actions of those who hurt you, it means you overcame their ugliness.
If you are reading this now, I want to encourage you. Whatever may be hurting your heart- from minor irritation to bleeding hole- I want you to heal. True and real healing, comes with peace and love and that starts with trying to let it go. It means you acknowledge that it happened but treat them with compassion. It doesn't mean you have to let them into your life.
If you're going through it right now, I'm standing beside you. Not in that I know your pain, because it is yours, but that I have experienced deep pain and I want you to know you aren't alone.
This has been a bit longer- and a bit more candid than I intended but I'll you this. If you are hurting and you need someone- reach out to me. I'll talk to you. Peace, is harder but in the end so much better. It is worth the struggle to find it.