Motherhood: Juggling jars full of bees all while conducting an orchestra.
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Planning or Er Pinning a Birthday Party

1/25/2014

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It's that time- It's birthday time! This year I hope to throw K a totally awesome party. We haven't always had the best luck in this department. 


This year I've got it down!! This year Kai and I are planning a super cool party! K will be 5 this year and as you can tell I'm super excited about it! So where does one go to plan a party these days? Honestly, it's as easy as a cell phone. Pinterest is a party planning play ground. Thousands of ideas, there is inspiration galore!  K loves legos- I mean loves them. Lego's, Star Wars, and Superhero's (as well as any combination of the three) and he's in heaven. So, I thought a Lego party would be fun, different, and not so off the wall he wouldn't enjoy it because it's something he likes. We've already started some planning (and some serious pinning). 


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K, My husband, and I have lego time together. 
We all enjoy it and most importantly so does K!
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Here it is, these aren't all my pins but these are what happen to be some of my favorite ideas. While we don't have a confirmed location- (we're looking to have this in a gym.) So, we're planning on indoor but busy activities (because Feb. is also really darn cold). A photo-booth, bean bag toss, some crafts, some games, lots of room to run around and be crazy, 


I have decided to do E-vites for the party though I did make a cute "photo- invite" to upload to the event page. Check em out!
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One of our activities will be coloring a "self portrait" as a lego-person. Also, while we're making our own Lego- Pinata, I'm hoping to also make some cardboard lego "blocks" as decorations and photo props.


Food? I've been waffling (pun intended). I have a hard time deciding. We'd like to do the party after lunch- and have an array of snacks and then have the cake and sweets be the main event. My best friend suggested a "sundae/cookie/etc" build your own bar.That's definitely on the list of considerations. I really want to do Marshmellow Pops, we'll see how it goes. 


I'm hoping to do this party very DIY. So I'll be posting tutorials on how that goes. (The hilarity that will be me trying to make jello lego blocks and a lego cake). As well as paper machete disasters and what may end up totally amusing craft execution arguments with my husband, "Not, it should go this way". All while trying to keep as much of this a surprise for K as possible. While I'm sure it won't be perfect I think we'll have a good time and make some really great memories. 


Stay tuned! 
Wanting to see some of those pins? Check out my actual Pinterest Board:
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The Terrible Love Story

1/23/2014

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To my darling: I wanted to express the depth of my love but I'm pretty tired and lazy so this will have to be enough. 


Like the couch potato that loves their TV, nothing comes before my love for thee.We're in this the long haul like you're smelly old boots, no matter how much I nag you're not getting new shoes.
 
We connect so well in our long endless silences when we sit next to each other on our electric devices. 
I know you really care when you scream "No" And dive in front of me, so I don't step on legos.


 Our romantic nights when we take things slow And fall asleep to the tvs glow. 


I can tell you accept me, the way that I am When I've drooled on your chest, next to you crammed.


 I appreciate you waiting until you're out of bed And into to the bathroom so you don't fart on my head. 


 I love you when you're bald, you love me when I'm hairy. You love me in the morning when I look really scary.


 I'll love you when you're saggy. I love you when you're old. I love you when you're smelly and ocky and stale like mold. 


We're silly together until death do us part. I'll love you forever, even when you fart.
Well, he thought it was cute!

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Mommy Poem

1/23/2014

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There will be a moment
When you are grown.
When you are big men
All on your own.
When life has gone beyond
Snack time and naps.
When you no longer sit
Right in Momma's lap.
The day you live
In place that's not home.
The day you make
A home of your own.
There will be a moment
That you will look back.
There will be a moment
You might miss what you had.  Don't be afraid
Of the change that will come.
No matter what's different
You'll still feel my love.
Right now you are little
With so much to do
Right now you are becoming
The you that is you.
I want to hold on
And keep you forever small.
I want my little guys
Not to grow big and tall.
Because as a mother
It can be hard to let go.
But because I'm your Mother
You'll always know:
No matter how you change
Or where you go
You stay in my heart
And are always home.

Wrote this on my phone, so please forgive formatting issues.
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The Response

1/14/2014

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Because I can't "not talk about it".

Some of you reading are from my town, my home, my community. We go to the same Walmart, we drive the same streets and in all likelihood know the same people. In community, people talk and when people talk- they gossip, they judge, and things circulate. 
  My home was wreaked by a tragedy and while it only affected a small  few, it sent ripples through everyone. We lost a baby, a child that was within days of the age my son. This child died because of something terrible- addiction. I'm not concerned with the rest of the details. To me this has only 2 points, a beautiful life is gone, a baby girl that should have grown, lived, covered in beauty and life will never get that chance. The only other point to me, is that her death was preventable. 
    Here it is: we all want to sit in condemnation because the outrage of a the death of 13 month old. We relate it our children and because of the media reports we see clear reason to lynch the guilty parities. What does that do? It only adds more pain to a tragedy.  What does that serve? 
      This is my home. This epidemic of addiction belongs to me because it happens right under my nose. It happens right inside my facebook feed. It happens to people I know. It is so easy to sit and judge the guilty but how many people knew these parents were struggling? How many of us tried? Who reached out? Where did we come in love? Because there is no room to sit in judgment if we never extended a hand, and if the excuse is "well I didn't know them" then how did you know enough to judge it. 
   My mother a substance abuse social worker. Straight out of the gate I was taught about the ugliness of addiction. She sees it everyday too. Unless we begin to treat this differently, this will happen again. It's happening right now. 
   There is some hope here, regarding the particular tragedy I mention. That hope also falls to us. Instead of sitting in judgment and condemnation we as a community could come in love and say enough. We can support local substance abuse programs, we can quit condemning guilty, we can quit standing idlely by. There is wound here and it is massive but everyone could be a part the healing. Am I probably kidding myself? Sure, but I would rather a be a fool to hope that love could cover this sin- than a part of the lynch mob. 
    I did not sit in their shoes, I did not live in their mind, I did not face their demons. I was not there and as I am also not a part of the legal proceedings, my opinion is null. A friend of mine said "Sometimes you can't protect the ones you love for yourself." That is so true. Have you ever had too many and driven home? You could've killed a baby. Have you ever driven high? You could've killed a baby- or a family. 
Have you ever struggled with addiction so strong you were paralyzed by it? You assess your risk and your vice and because it hasn't happened yet you can judge. Do you see what I mean? 
    I am a mother. Substance abuse and addiction hurt children. I've seen it. I lived it. It's everyone's problem. If we want it to stop, we have to be a part of that change. So the next time you're outraged- try channeling it into something that will help:
   Donate- if you cannot donate
   Volunteer- if you cannot volunteer-
   Educate- because there is always something you can do. 
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The wicked one

1/11/2014

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I heard through the grape-vine they're re-making Cinderella. My train of thought goes- "ooooh! I love fairy-tales, wait, I hated that one, he only liked her because she was pretty, ohh remember that one with "Brandy"- " to landing on "Man, why do step-mom's always get the bad-rep."


Why are step-moms always portrayed "wickedly". Let's look here a moment:  

Snow White

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Not even close to all the adaptations of Snow White- I know. 

Cinderella

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Another one with a thousand adaptations. 

Hansel and Gretel

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Enchanted

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Evil, but still kinda fabulous.

The Labyrinth  

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I know Bowie isn't a step mom- but if you put Jareth next to Narcissa you're going to see double. 
  And if we aren't abandoning our children in the woods, asking a huntsman to cut them to pieces, sending them through portals, making them babysit (the horror) or making them slaves- well those stories just have no mothers at all. 
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No, that's not Ariel in some incestuous thing with her Dad. (Hey you thought it too). No, that's her Mom, Queen Athena- and she's dead. 
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This, is a fan pic because Pocahontas's mom is dead too. 
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Google didn't even give me a fan pic of Belle's mom. You guessed it- she's dead too. 

What about adoptive parents?

Tangled. 

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If they do a live-action- Susan Sarandon gets dibs. 

The media hates moms. 

   I actually ran into this little Wiki page while doing some digging for this blog. Check this out. This link is "The Roles of Mother's in Disney". It's eye opening. Look, I love these movies and stories- all of them (except that Hilary Duff one). However it is interesting that you can only have adventure if you're parents are absentee, evil, or dead. "Then the Princess could wait until she's a grown up and not in rebellion to have her adventure...." and the executive producers would laugh me out of the industry forever. It's interesting though, because these stories stay with us. "Wicked Stepmother" is a pretty common phrase. When I tell my kids fairy tales- I may mention: 
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Roles of Mother's in Disney- Wiki link
Photo links:


http://www.rattlebeak.com/go/movieimages/scrpbook/image01/image01-03.html

http://www.mommyish.com/tag/fairy-tales/

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/440719513506289263/

http://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_vera_storia_di_Biancaneve

http://www.ign.com/articles/2009/03/23/top-ten-evil-stepmothers?page=2

http://stephanietmcnally.blogspot.com/2012/02/hansel-and-gretel-archetype-analysis.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42O_Q_f5SNQ

http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Queen_Athena

http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/disney-parents/images/31449944/title/pocahontas-mom-fanart

http://www.eonline.com/photos/3071/top-10-movie-queens/116669

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A Time of Reflection!

1/1/2014

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Happy New Year!! 

  To begin, I'm soo happy to start 2014 with all of you!! I'm glad this blog has survived and thrived and I can't wait to see what 2014 will have for us! 
  
   I think it's rather natural to get reflective as another year concludes. We all want to start fresh, renew, grow, etc. That's all really great and I want those things too. Sadly by the end of January most of those feelings have left us as we get into our old ruts. I think we set expectations for ourselves (which are always dangerous) and we give up when we fail to meet them immediately. 
   I'm a planner. I love to set these fabulously thought out Daffy Duck schemes to get thinner, have peace, be supermom, and bombshell wife- yeah. I'm great at it, I should be sued for the paper I waste making fruitless lists. They're pretty unrealistic. I want to find the balance of healthy goals and targets, that are then matched with realistic grace and understanding of who we are. See, I am not the thin, zen master, all-doing-all-crafting-all-knowing, sex pot- wife and mother I dream to be. I'm also not a "new year- new me" kinda gal. One day changes over- if you haven't already begun lifestyle changes- your calendar isn't going to do it for you. 
     See, now I know I sound like I'm caught in an optimistic/pessimistic love triangle here. I am. Recently our family began a few new changes, we decided to consciously up our family productivity, set more structure (because we're really only good at structure on the short term), and simply work harder to live better. We started by upping the organization of our home and lives and are then letting that flow into the other aspects of our lives as we get there. Isn't that great and we've already started. Aren't we fancy pants. However, we've only just begun and when you're excited about the "new" thing, it's easy to do. I'm more worried about a month from now, when the novelty has worn off and the idea of doing 30 min workbook time with my 5 year old will be easily tabled. 
   That's always the danger, that you'll burn out. What I've decided however is that that is okay. I tell K regularly- "It's never too late to turn it around." (Usually referring to his behavior). This is the attitude I want to apply to my goals and challenges. That some days, I'm going to burn out, I'm going to fail, and I'm going to drop the ball. As I am overly critical of myself, when I fail my typical immediate response is to say "I'm done. Screw this."  What I hope to do instead is to have the grace with myself to say- "Okay, it's never too late to turn this around and start again." So, each time I mess up- will be another chance for renewal, instead of failure, I can brush the dirt off my shoulders and have the mentality of refresh. Instead of a mess up- it's an opportunity to reflect and be "new". 
    I know this all sounds simple most people probably already have this down but I don't. So this is what I have to remind myself. If you're like me- solidarity friend! I'm with you!! 


    2013 was a year. Now that I reflect on it I see where I can "start over" right now. So that's the mentality I'm going to work with. I can't look too far ahead into the future, but the past is done and I can move on. Isn't that what we all want? To let our junk go, live in the now, but have a touch of wisdom to look a little ahead. Well, it's certainly what I want. So here's hoping! 
   I hope you all had a great year, if you didn't, I hope that you start this one off right. More importantly I hope that if you don't- you have the grace with yourself to start over whenever you need it. 
    Thanks for sticking with me! Love to you all! Here's to a great year together! 
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