Motherhood: Juggling jars full of bees all while conducting an orchestra.
Jar of bees
  • Home
    • About
  • Explore More Here:
    • Delcious and Delightful
    • Creative and Crafty
    • The Happiness Project
    • Explore and Experiment

Blended Family Beauty

12/7/2013

0 Comments

 
   I love that relieved yet satisfied feeling you get after a long day with family! 
We made more cookies! It was controlled chaos! I loved it! 
   I think my favorite part though was that our blended family came together. No, not the one you think. See, I come from a blended family. My father was married twice before meeting and marrying my mom. I have two brothers (one deceased) from his first marriage and a sister, with whom I am very close, from his second. 
   My sister, her children, and her mom joined us today. This isn't a first though it's also not extraordinarily often either. It was great! Her mom and mine always get along great and it was so beautiful. While some blended families can only manage for civility or worse veiled contempt, I love it when I see it work. It honestly wasn't always that way but people grow, they forgive, and they change. 

   While our own little blended family certainly isn't one of drama, we also aren't paling around together. I love when blended families really blend. It doesn't always happen and it doesn't have to, I just really love it when it does. I won't air out the personal lives of my family but I will say that the situation itself was tough. For everyone. People are people, they hurt each other. So when I tell you it's beautiful, it's because people have let stuff go. It wasn't as though it was always family get togethers and happy smiles. 
  Family is messy. I could tell that ours has some war wounds, serious scars, and some healing that we've all done. It has had it's ugly times but the only way to be a family is going through the ugly. We're not perfect at it, not even by a long shot but these times when we come together are so blessed and so good. It's my goal for my own "blended family". That we can show our kids how truly beautiful it can be. 

   Our parents have shown us what it means to put aside those wounds and create memories for generations to cherish. Love that breeds love. I want to show that to my children. That life is far too short and that so much more can be built with love than anger. The memories created today I will cherish. We played, we laughed, we talked, we loved. It was great. Our kids built relationships and had no idea that there was ever pain there. That "blended family" is honestly just more family. See the "blended" often means something opposite. It means two families that are apart, - not intermingling. 
   I see it like this: each family is often a different entree with a common ingredient not many ingredients of the same dish. Truthfully, we can't always be in unison but I think it's important not to write it off. Infinity goes both ways, meaning there are many chances for moments in your life. One may pass but another will come around. By shutting out the idea you can turn yourself away from some true beauty. It doesn't happen overnight, that healing has to occur first and people have to want to heal. My hope is that people keep an open (albeit guarded) heart. 
Picture
Picture
0 Comments

Ballad of a step mom

11/12/2013

0 Comments

 

Our first day together:

Picture
Picture

Our First Outing:

Picture

The hardest thing I have ever done:

   I wanted to share a few of our "firsts". Back then I had no idea what I was embarking on. I just really loved this little boy. 


   I have been a step parent for a little over two years so I can't start without saying I'm a newbie. My step son was 2 when I entered his life and he captured my heart very quickly. I love him and the tight rope that is being a part of a blended family can be difficult. 
   Regardless of whatever your situation, no matter how drama free it is or how difficult it can be: certain thoughts will always cross your mind. Regardless of custodial situation- it's never going to always be perfect. 
      For our personal situation, I feel blessed. It certainly isn't always sunny but we make it work.  I network and talk to other step-parents and listen to their personal situations. I know that being a part of a blended family can be painful- for all parties.

It isn't always sunshine and roses.

    I also know that the "stepping back" of a step-parent's job is hard. I live that. I also know that it can be tempting to seek validation from your step-children. 
      That breaks my heart. I know it's hard not to seek validation from various places but I think it's a disservice or worse to seek from your step-child. I know the party line is "someday (he or she) will see that you're indeed the better parent". This is wrong. 
       Before I delve into that I want to preface the above statement with this: hoping and praying that your step-child will one day see the great love you have for them is different than the desire to be seen as the "better parent".
        I know that parental alienation can be devastating, especially to the child and it is the hope of all on the receiving end; that eyes will finally open. Would not the best possible scenario be that instead of the realization, that the parent they love, is a hurtful manipulative liar: instead be a healing on both ends for the betterment of the child. In many case though- that may never be a reality. So you work with what you can.

I'm human, I get pissed off too.


Read More
0 Comments

Set me as a seal

7/10/2013

0 Comments

 

Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death;

Song of Solomon 8:6 King James Bible.

Song of Solomon- is full of some really great quotes. Anything from "I have found the one for whom my soul loves" to great breast commentary.

Ahh but to the point: Romance. Amore. Love.
Being that I'm only currently in my second year of marriage- I don't claim to be qualfied to dole out marital advice. I have however, learned a few things that have allowed my husband and I- to continue in our second year of marriage.

Romance and Intimacy are a huge part of that. It's a no brainer right? In theory? completely. In practice? Not so much. When you have two young children, jobs, demands, etc- romance and intimacy tend to fall by the way side. What my prince of a husband and I have learned- is that we can't let that happen.

As soon as we drop the romance, intimacy, and time with each other- instead of a yound married couple with children; we become two sex-deprived and frustrated parents existing in the same house.

It sucks. So, we made a promise to each other. To make a point to have that romance in our marriage. Romance lends well to other needed aspects to keep us going. Which is engaging each other in converstion not relating to "to do lists", "chores" "bitching" "children" etc. Time to talk about things we love, things we've learned, things that make us laugh. It reminds us that the other person is important- so are their thoughts and feelings. Watching the same tv show together is not engaging. Doesn't count. So, we decided to get a little less sleep and have a little more time together at the end of the night and it's brought that side of intimacy back.

A tool we've used throughout our marriage to challenge us is a marriage devotional. I really wasn't into it at first, cute little verse, cute little story, cute little questions- five minutes. This wasn't going to help us. Well, while I'm still not a fan of the cute little stories etc. The questions- were actually helpful. It gave us prompts- things to honestly ask each other that we may not have otherwise. It furthered the lines of communication that so often get railroaded in daily life.

Another tool (and admitedly my favorite) is ambiance. Creating a romantic setting. It sets a tone, a "mood" (I know cheesy but it's true) because it makes that moment more imporant. Marriage is not the end of sex, marriage should mean continued and better sex. If sex becomes completely routine and unexciting then somethings wrong. A friend of mine, a more matured lady now approaching her 60's told me that it only gets better. That she and her husband have better sex now, than years ago. My thoughts were "It get's better than this? Challenge accepted."

Example: Really rough week- things were piling up, we were stressed out. I hurt my arm and I hit my breaking point. "I've had enough!" I was down. My husband decided to take the day and turn it into something wonderful for me. He got votive candles and set out and lit 30 candles- got a bottle of wine and we were set. I come into our room and it's a place of relaxation. It's warm, it's beautiful, and I got to feel special. Needless to say- things went very well that evening. It didn't take a lot of time but created that aspect of romance.

Marriage is no excuse for apathy. This isn't profound advice I know (maybe when we've been married 50 years I'll have some of that). We have a long to way to go but from the day we got married- we commited to making this work. So, we had to start somewhere, we decided from the get go- we wanted to actively work on staying together- before " not staying together was ever considered. This is part of how we're doing that.

Got some good tips? You can let me know in our new contact box or on the "Live Enchanted" facebook page. See the home page for further info.
Picture
Picture

the romantic ambiance my hubby made for me

Picture
0 Comments

    Home Page:

    All my crazy ramblings!

    Archives

    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013

    Categories

    All
    Announcement
    Baby
    Batman
    Birthday
    Blended Family
    Cancer
    Chrismas
    Christmas
    Crafts
    Death
    Decorating
    Design
    Disney
    Fairy
    Fairy Tales
    Family
    Flowers
    For The Home
    Grandaughter
    Grandfather
    Grandpa
    Grief
    Growth
    Happiness
    Hate
    Holiday
    Husband
    Infographic
    Kalyn Collaborations
    Kids
    Kitchen
    Lego
    Live Enchanted
    Loss
    Love
    Marriage
    Motherhood
    Music
    New Year
    New Year!
    Outdoor
    Parenting
    Peace
    Photographer
    Photography
    Photoshoot
    Playful
    Poem
    Pregnancy
    Romance
    Solstice
    Stepmom
    Step Parent
    Step Parent
    Step Son
    Summer
    Superhero
    Thank You
    Tribute
    Weekly Challenge
    Wicked Stepmother
    Zach Sobiech

    Picture

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.