For nearly 5 years you have been a major part of my life. When I envisioned being married and my life with a family, it did not include a whole other person. Finding a balance that fit the best for Kail was a struggle. I've always struggled with the "stepping back"part of Step parenting.
I'm sure when you planned your life and raising your son, it did not include me either. Trusting someone you didn't have a relationship with, to care for your child, I don't know if I could do that. If roles were reversed, it would be extremely hard for me to trust. You didn't have to try and work with me. You didn't have to try at all. It could have always been a fight, but it wasn't, it isn't, and that's huge.
Despite struggles, some tense times, we've managed this. I like to think we've come a long way. While we're not "besties", there's a mutual respect that means a lot to me. I have seen blended families get ugly. I have seen how damaging that is to the kids in the middle, even to adulthood. I'm so grateful that we don't have that.
I'm grateful and humbled that you openly share your son with me. I love him so deeply, but when I imagine myself in your shoes, doing that myself is hard. I consider myself blessed and lucky to be a part of his life. That would not work as well if you weren't supportive in that. I think it means a big deal to Kail as well. He knows who is his Mom, he knows who has that place, but he can still love me too.
He wouldn't be the amazing kid he is without his Mom. I think most of the times, from the Step parent perspective, Moms and Dads don't get the credit for raising their kids. I've seen it be all about the validation step parents need. I can love him, I can help raise him, and I can give to him like I do my biological children, but he wouldn't even be here without his parents. He adores his Mother, that speaks volumes.
So know that I do see the great things you do for him. Know that when I tell him "Kail, I love your Mom." That comes from a genuine place. It means I'm grateful, I'm humbled, and because I love him so much, I must love you. In that I care that good things happen for you, I respect you, and I appreciate that the child I love is half of you. I don't expect that from you, we do and say things differently, but I have seen you extend yourself my way and it's meant a lot.
We will likely not always agree, we may have conflict in the future, but we've managed to work things out so far. In the end, we've always tried to put Kail first, instead of in the middle of our disagreements. I didn't plan to be a Step Parent when I thought about my life, but I wouldn't trade it. I truly love Kail and I consider myself blessed that you're his Mom.