Well Hi Guise!!
Sorry things have been a little slow here! The holidays (holidaze more like) have had us busy and tired!
Overall I felt very blessed this season. My children made out like bandits, but more importantly, we spent lots of time together as a family. Losing my Grandfather has taught me how much creating these memories means to me, because of what it will mean to them.
I spent some time at his home today. It's been hard to bring myself to go there, each time it's more and more empty as things are divvied up. I struggle each time. It's my nature to become attached to places- I moved around a lot as a teen, I struggled with that sense of "home". So places hold a lot for me. The feeling that this home, that is filled with memories of my family, thousands of millions of moments- being dismantled - has been hard. Objectively I understand that it's not that dramatic but it feels that way to me in those moments. It's that sudden pang when loss strikes your heart. As much as I'd like to reject those feelings, I know the importance of going through them. So I sit and feel it a moment and try to wipe my tears and move on- knowing that a new memory will hit shortly and I'll cry then too.
Grief, however has not marred the whole holiday. I had such a blessed time with the boys and my family! Chaotic and fun and very busy have been trademark this year. Hubster and I are finally catching up on post-holiday cleaning.
I keep my thoughts striving for inner peace. No, not anywhere near it in case you wondered. Still, when life comes in heavy waves you take a deep breath. Honestly, I struggle more with the little waves. I'm learning to let those go too.
Sorry things have been a little slow here! The holidays (holidaze more like) have had us busy and tired!
Overall I felt very blessed this season. My children made out like bandits, but more importantly, we spent lots of time together as a family. Losing my Grandfather has taught me how much creating these memories means to me, because of what it will mean to them.
I spent some time at his home today. It's been hard to bring myself to go there, each time it's more and more empty as things are divvied up. I struggle each time. It's my nature to become attached to places- I moved around a lot as a teen, I struggled with that sense of "home". So places hold a lot for me. The feeling that this home, that is filled with memories of my family, thousands of millions of moments- being dismantled - has been hard. Objectively I understand that it's not that dramatic but it feels that way to me in those moments. It's that sudden pang when loss strikes your heart. As much as I'd like to reject those feelings, I know the importance of going through them. So I sit and feel it a moment and try to wipe my tears and move on- knowing that a new memory will hit shortly and I'll cry then too.
Grief, however has not marred the whole holiday. I had such a blessed time with the boys and my family! Chaotic and fun and very busy have been trademark this year. Hubster and I are finally catching up on post-holiday cleaning.
I keep my thoughts striving for inner peace. No, not anywhere near it in case you wondered. Still, when life comes in heavy waves you take a deep breath. Honestly, I struggle more with the little waves. I'm learning to let those go too.
Some snaps of our holiday!
Christmas Present time!
Daddy's Birthday was Christmas Eve! He turned 24 on the 24th! | 
Christmas Silliness!
We have a little tradition of wrapping their door shut! We say Santa does it so ensure they stay in their rooms. Santa came during nap time this year! |
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