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Rambling Collective

12/30/2013

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Well Hi Guise!! 
   Sorry things have been a little slow here! The holidays (holidaze more like) have had us busy and tired! 
    Overall I felt very blessed this season. My children made out like bandits, but more importantly, we spent lots of time together as a family. Losing my Grandfather has taught me how much creating these memories means to me, because of what it will mean to them. 

   I spent some time at his home today. It's been hard to bring myself to go there, each time it's more and more empty as things are divvied up. I struggle each time. It's my nature to become attached to places- I moved around a lot as a teen, I struggled with that sense of "home". So places hold a lot for me. The feeling that this home, that is filled with memories of my family, thousands of millions of moments- being dismantled - has been hard. Objectively I understand that it's not that dramatic but it feels that way to me in those moments. It's that sudden pang when loss strikes your heart. As much as I'd like to reject those feelings, I know the importance of going through them. So I sit and feel it a moment and try to wipe my tears and move on- knowing that a new memory will hit shortly and I'll cry then too. 
    Grief, however has not marred the whole holiday. I had such a blessed time with the boys and my family! Chaotic and fun and very busy have been trademark this year. Hubster and I are finally catching up on post-holiday cleaning. 
     I keep my thoughts striving for inner peace. No, not anywhere near it in case you wondered. Still, when life comes in heavy waves you take a deep breath. Honestly, I struggle more with the little waves. I'm learning to let those go too. 

Some snaps of our holiday! 

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Christmas Present time!

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Daddy's Birthday was Christmas Eve! He turned 24 on the 24th! 

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Christmas Silliness!

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We have a little tradition of wrapping their door shut! We say Santa does it so ensure they stay in their rooms. Santa came during nap time this year!
(He even called to tell them so!) Here is Dad on our side of their door! They get to bust out of their "present door" each year! 

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Cuddled at their Great-grandparents home! 
Letting the legacy continue. 

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The Duke

11/6/2013

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"Grief is the price you pay for love." C. S. Lewis 

I recently lost someone very near and dear to me. I would like to take a moment and share a little about them-with you. 


My Grandfather; 


He lived a life very full, a life with legacy of love. He enjoyed bird hunting, fishing, and westerns. He deeply loved his family. He was a caregiver to many and a man who helped any in need. He married the love of his life Lois and cared for her throughout her 10 plus year battle with dementia. 


He was something entirely different to me. To me: he was a hero, he was my safety net, my confidant, my cheerleader, a friend. He helped raise me, shape me, and guide me into the person I am now. He was an enormous presence in my life. 
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"he's salt on watermelon- and in beer, he's crossword puzzles, and old t-shirts."

I will cherish always the many talks we had, and the time I got to share with this wonderful person. I count myself lucky to have been close to him. He was a wonderful Grandfather. 


The biggest lesson I carry with me of my Grandfather is one of unconditional love. I know that as I grew, there were times I did things I'm sure he didn't like. However, I knew, without a doubt that, no matter what I did, he would always love me. This for me personally, was huge. 


To me, he is now, every cup of coffee I drink, he's salt on watermelon- and in beer, he's crossword puzzles, and old t-shirts. He's hunting dogs and fishing poles. He's waking up at 4:30am, he's watching "Law and Order". He's fried chicken and mashed potatoes, he's a Christmas card, and a thousand memories. I'll carry him. 

I hope that at the end of my life- I am as loved- and as known for love as my Grandpa. He died peacefully in his bed, dressed and ready to go. He left this world with the dignity in which he lived. I have many lessons from this man, I value them all.


~In Loving Memory of Donald "Duke" Abbott~



to Learn more About Duke- click Here
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