Happy New Year!!
I think it's rather natural to get reflective as another year concludes. We all want to start fresh, renew, grow, etc. That's all really great and I want those things too. Sadly by the end of January most of those feelings have left us as we get into our old ruts. I think we set expectations for ourselves (which are always dangerous) and we give up when we fail to meet them immediately.
I'm a planner. I love to set these fabulously thought out Daffy Duck schemes to get thinner, have peace, be supermom, and bombshell wife- yeah. I'm great at it, I should be sued for the paper I waste making fruitless lists. They're pretty unrealistic. I want to find the balance of healthy goals and targets, that are then matched with realistic grace and understanding of who we are. See, I am not the thin, zen master, all-doing-all-crafting-all-knowing, sex pot- wife and mother I dream to be. I'm also not a "new year- new me" kinda gal. One day changes over- if you haven't already begun lifestyle changes- your calendar isn't going to do it for you.
See, now I know I sound like I'm caught in an optimistic/pessimistic love triangle here. I am. Recently our family began a few new changes, we decided to consciously up our family productivity, set more structure (because we're really only good at structure on the short term), and simply work harder to live better. We started by upping the organization of our home and lives and are then letting that flow into the other aspects of our lives as we get there. Isn't that great and we've already started. Aren't we fancy pants. However, we've only just begun and when you're excited about the "new" thing, it's easy to do. I'm more worried about a month from now, when the novelty has worn off and the idea of doing 30 min workbook time with my 5 year old will be easily tabled.
That's always the danger, that you'll burn out. What I've decided however is that that is okay. I tell K regularly- "It's never too late to turn it around." (Usually referring to his behavior). This is the attitude I want to apply to my goals and challenges. That some days, I'm going to burn out, I'm going to fail, and I'm going to drop the ball. As I am overly critical of myself, when I fail my typical immediate response is to say "I'm done. Screw this." What I hope to do instead is to have the grace with myself to say- "Okay, it's never too late to turn this around and start again." So, each time I mess up- will be another chance for renewal, instead of failure, I can brush the dirt off my shoulders and have the mentality of refresh. Instead of a mess up- it's an opportunity to reflect and be "new".
I know this all sounds simple most people probably already have this down but I don't. So this is what I have to remind myself. If you're like me- solidarity friend! I'm with you!!
2013 was a year. Now that I reflect on it I see where I can "start over" right now. So that's the mentality I'm going to work with. I can't look too far ahead into the future, but the past is done and I can move on. Isn't that what we all want? To let our junk go, live in the now, but have a touch of wisdom to look a little ahead. Well, it's certainly what I want. So here's hoping!
I hope you all had a great year, if you didn't, I hope that you start this one off right. More importantly I hope that if you don't- you have the grace with yourself to start over whenever you need it.
Thanks for sticking with me! Love to you all! Here's to a great year together!