"Haters gonna hate and I'm just gonna shake..."
I got this chick at work. She doesn't like me. Her dislike has taken to spreading nasty things.
She's not the first woman to talk behind my back, I'm sure there's a whole slew of them, plenty I probably don't even know. In fact, there's at least a couple of them at work who take their dislike to varrying degrees. Not everyone is going to like me. Meh.
I was already aware of this woman's dislike for me. I guess she has some issue with my Mom (I KNOW, right?!! My Mom is such a freaking saint!!!). Whatever, Cindy Loo-whoo doesn't like me.
While I have to deal with this, it doesn't have to disturb my calm. Sure, it's not "super happy fun time" when someone is taking time out of their day *just* to say nasty things about you. However, you don't have to let them live rent free in your head. They don't have to disturb your peace.
I know that my personality is sensative and kind but I've spent the last few years discovering a lot of strength in myself. A thicker skin I didn't know I had. It's funny, there's other more difficult things in my life that this seems almost comically small. It could be overwhelming, adding to stress, instead the perspective- "Wow, that's a tiny blip of bullshit".
In the last year, I've also learned that in loving myself and finding that strength that I don't feel inferior to people who want to drag me down. I'm finally secure in my intellect, my personality, myself- that it doesn't drag me down. Admitedly, as a people pleaser- people not liking me and people saying things was really hurtful to me. I'd get my head wrapped up in it. It feels almost strange not to have that response.
Not everyone is going to like me or "get me". I'm finally getting okay with that. I'm still likely to get hurt if someone I legitmately care about says things mean stuff- that would suck. However, when it's just some chick at work- my "delicate feelings" can just brush that crap off.
In this journey of happiness and self love, this is a big deal to me. I know who Hannah is. I'm actually a pretty cool chick. I'm smarter than your average bunny and have some good talents. I don't walk around having to prove any of that anymore. It's finally evident to me so I don't need to make it evident to anyone else. I don't have to please people I don't care about, because I'm finally secure enough in me.
Life is bigger than whatever you've decided about me not to like. In the professional world, people are going to talk, just know this: I don't know talk about you. I could, I know somethings you perhaps wouldn't want shared. Though in my time, I have gossiped about people. I have made that mistake. I'm not perfect. I also know that it's an ugly thing to do but it's also a tempting one. I forgive you for doing it, because I've made the mistake myself.
It's cool that you don't like me. You're not my favorite. You may choose to continue to spread negativity. That's okay. There's something you should know about that though, karma comes around friend. Spreading negativity gives it an opening to catch up with you. Maybe you're my karma for my own mistakes. I've made them.
Life is bigger than whatever you've decided to be offended about. I'm not going to cower, I'm not afriad of you. I'll see you at the next meeting with a big ole smile on my face and say bless you darling.