This week came with some interesting lessons. I got to have breakfast with a lovely women. I learned a lot in our talk!
I can be quite the perfectionist. It's one of my most terrible qualities. Through several conversations this week- I realized a few things about that. Perfectionism comes from feelings of inadequacy. Though we don't always admit it. We're never going to measure up, the ridiculous Sisyphus mission that is trying to attain perfection is terrible ego.
What I'm finding though, is that despite imperfections of life and imperfections in myself- I'm happy. Sometimes I do still get down on myself for lack of being perfect but the majority of the time I'm happy.
I think for me, the balance is knowing things aren't going to be perfect but knowing that you can happy anyway. That the goal of perfection is futile but the goal of happiness is within reach.
I know, once again I'm finding the obvious to be profound but to me it's not just about saying it anymore. I've certainly said to myself "No one is perfect so I don't need to be" but that didn't make the feelings go away. It didn't permeate into my thick head.
It wasn't until I started to find myself happy, even in the hard moments that I started to get this. Through conversations where things were revealed to me and then suddenly it started to click.
I don't have the perfect life. I am not a perfect parent, perfect employee, perfect wife, perfect daughter, perfect anything. For a very long time I've fooled myself into thinking this was a standard in which I could reach. It was ridiculous ego and what's more stemmed from the thinking that I'm not good enough just being me. That's all crap. I'm okay, just being Hannah and I don't need to achieve an impossible standard to be good. Even more, I don't need an impossible standard to be happy. I think as people we set ourselves up for things, we get in our own way. I think the concept is simple, executing it in relation to how we feel, how thoughts are ingrained in us, and how we truly think about ourselves are where the lines get blurred and we go against ourselves.
Honestly, it's been a huge week of teaching to me. I keep learning lessons about forgiveness, peace, how useless fear is, and how this relates to my issues in perfection. I find that I also expect the people I care about how live up to my standard. When they fail to meet this standard I find it difficult to forgive the short coming. I expect people to think like I do, when they fail to, I have to learn to let it go. It can be hard to separate the hurt with the understanding that people are people. So it's been a week of lessons but the perspective has helped me a great deal. It has greatly helped me on the road to happiness.
This week was certainly not a perfect week. I learned a lot though. I'm finding myself more and more consistently happy. It's all a journey and I'm still in the beginning but baby steps I'm taking are hard won progress.
Here's to happiness:
This weeks posts: (please forgive the numbering mess I got into, I got somewhat mixed up!)
I can be quite the perfectionist. It's one of my most terrible qualities. Through several conversations this week- I realized a few things about that. Perfectionism comes from feelings of inadequacy. Though we don't always admit it. We're never going to measure up, the ridiculous Sisyphus mission that is trying to attain perfection is terrible ego.
What I'm finding though, is that despite imperfections of life and imperfections in myself- I'm happy. Sometimes I do still get down on myself for lack of being perfect but the majority of the time I'm happy.
I think for me, the balance is knowing things aren't going to be perfect but knowing that you can happy anyway. That the goal of perfection is futile but the goal of happiness is within reach.
I know, once again I'm finding the obvious to be profound but to me it's not just about saying it anymore. I've certainly said to myself "No one is perfect so I don't need to be" but that didn't make the feelings go away. It didn't permeate into my thick head.
It wasn't until I started to find myself happy, even in the hard moments that I started to get this. Through conversations where things were revealed to me and then suddenly it started to click.
I don't have the perfect life. I am not a perfect parent, perfect employee, perfect wife, perfect daughter, perfect anything. For a very long time I've fooled myself into thinking this was a standard in which I could reach. It was ridiculous ego and what's more stemmed from the thinking that I'm not good enough just being me. That's all crap. I'm okay, just being Hannah and I don't need to achieve an impossible standard to be good. Even more, I don't need an impossible standard to be happy. I think as people we set ourselves up for things, we get in our own way. I think the concept is simple, executing it in relation to how we feel, how thoughts are ingrained in us, and how we truly think about ourselves are where the lines get blurred and we go against ourselves.
Honestly, it's been a huge week of teaching to me. I keep learning lessons about forgiveness, peace, how useless fear is, and how this relates to my issues in perfection. I find that I also expect the people I care about how live up to my standard. When they fail to meet this standard I find it difficult to forgive the short coming. I expect people to think like I do, when they fail to, I have to learn to let it go. It can be hard to separate the hurt with the understanding that people are people. So it's been a week of lessons but the perspective has helped me a great deal. It has greatly helped me on the road to happiness.
This week was certainly not a perfect week. I learned a lot though. I'm finding myself more and more consistently happy. It's all a journey and I'm still in the beginning but baby steps I'm taking are hard won progress.
Here's to happiness:
This weeks posts: (please forgive the numbering mess I got into, I got somewhat mixed up!)