I think the biggest compliment I can receive is that I'm beautiful on the inside. That I do good things. I try hard to put good back into the world. I care a lot about that. Knowing that some people see that, is a huge deal to me. I appreciate that. I also hear it and feel like a big faker.
I want to be a good person. I strive for that. However, I am also a person. I have moments of judgement and venom. I get convicted in those moments so I try to extend kindness because I know what it's like when that judgment and venom gets turned on you. I struggle with my desire to be this saintly good and perfect person. I want to please people. I forget so quickly what a trap that is.
I can't attain a level of "good" for myself. My standard is ridiculous. I'm not going to be Mother Theresa, wrapped in Gandhi, with a side of Jane Addams (see link, she's awesome). I think that I'm an essentially selfish creature (think Squidward), so I try and go out of my way to be kind because I don't want to be such a selfish-self-absorbed poop head.
I have always hoped that if people remember me for anything they remember kindness. Likely they'll remember me awkwardly interrupting them with something that clearly could've waited.
I have to accept that I am never going to be a perfectly "good person." I have this whole sin nature thing- so I can TOTALLY blow the whole "peacefully, nonjudgmental, sage, of kindness" thing. You should see the venom I say "GOD BLESS YOU" (or worse) to drivers who ride on my tail in traffic.
I seem to forget that I am a work in progress, not a finished work. That it's okay that I just continue to work toward the goal of being a good person.
I started this because I wanted to be honest. I'm a selfish, critical, self-absorbed, know it all. BUT (there is a butt ;) I know that's my weakness- so I continue to try and work on that. I fall and fail. I ask for grace and I keep trucking on to being better. I don't want to be a faker. I try to be a good person, I care a lot about what my inner beauty looks like. I'm also at times- a poop head. I just needed to get that off my chest.
(aforementioned link:)
I want to be a good person. I strive for that. However, I am also a person. I have moments of judgement and venom. I get convicted in those moments so I try to extend kindness because I know what it's like when that judgment and venom gets turned on you. I struggle with my desire to be this saintly good and perfect person. I want to please people. I forget so quickly what a trap that is.
I can't attain a level of "good" for myself. My standard is ridiculous. I'm not going to be Mother Theresa, wrapped in Gandhi, with a side of Jane Addams (see link, she's awesome). I think that I'm an essentially selfish creature (think Squidward), so I try and go out of my way to be kind because I don't want to be such a selfish-self-absorbed poop head.
I have always hoped that if people remember me for anything they remember kindness. Likely they'll remember me awkwardly interrupting them with something that clearly could've waited.
I have to accept that I am never going to be a perfectly "good person." I have this whole sin nature thing- so I can TOTALLY blow the whole "peacefully, nonjudgmental, sage, of kindness" thing. You should see the venom I say "GOD BLESS YOU" (or worse) to drivers who ride on my tail in traffic.
I seem to forget that I am a work in progress, not a finished work. That it's okay that I just continue to work toward the goal of being a good person.
I started this because I wanted to be honest. I'm a selfish, critical, self-absorbed, know it all. BUT (there is a butt ;) I know that's my weakness- so I continue to try and work on that. I fall and fail. I ask for grace and I keep trucking on to being better. I don't want to be a faker. I try to be a good person, I care a lot about what my inner beauty looks like. I'm also at times- a poop head. I just needed to get that off my chest.
(aforementioned link:)