I have been loving my Sunday School class. I used to hate Sunday school, but I'm in a really great class. Something our awesome teacher continually reminds me of is how "comparing ourselves is flesh, it's carnal." I have struggled with this so much. I realize though, that- that isn't who I've been made to be. I'm made to be me. The best me possible. That my life is not in competition with anyone. That the only person comparing me- is me. Then if I stop- I win.
It's taken me a long time to love the person I am inside. I'm finally getting there. This is years coming. Now, my struggle is loving myself on the outside. I have been working on myself. Having children I think has forever altered my body. While I am trying to change things to become a healthier me, I also want to accept this body and that it's good. I struggle with that. I'm learning not to compare myself or my life.
I'm my biggest critic. I'm my worst enemy. That's not who I was created to be. That's not who I'm supposed to be. In order to be happy, I've got to accept and LOVE who I am, inside and out. I'm not good at that. I've been trying, certainly. I'm working on seeing the beauty in me. I want to. I made beautiful babies, I am a great Mom, and husband really likes being married to me! I love my job and I do good things. I like this person. So, I've got to learn to like her on the outside too.
I have never been a make up- hair done- outfit to perfect person. It's not who I am. I rarely *rarely ever wear make-up, I like comfortable clothing, and my hair is usually out of my face and off my neck. I like getting dirty from gardening, working on cars or projects, or playing with my kiddos. I love fashion, I appreciate it but I'd rather be the one behind the camera. It has taken me years to figure out who I am and to like that person. I really want to like her for all that she is.
I am messy- I just am.
I love art- I have a passion for it.
I love books and facts- and sharing those fact- sometimes obnoxiously.
I love to sing and I'm not bad at it.
I love seeing people smile and helping them.
I love putting good into the world.
I love to dance and I don't care if I look silly or stupid doing it.
I don't usually care if I look silly or stupid in public period- if it makes someone smile.
I have a huge huge heart. It's not a weakness, it's a strength.
I occasionally have sagey-widsom moments- thanks to my Mother.
I will help you and be kind to you- even if I don't like you. I believe in being a good human.
These are the things I like about myself on the inside.
On the outside:
I have pretty eyes.
I have a pretty smile.
I'm going to expand this list. I'm going to get there. This also isn't about compliments, in case anyone reads this. People have been very kind to me and have built me up over the years and I so appreciate that. It means a lot. However, this is about me loving me. I can only do that for myself. I have to find it. I wish we could all see each other through the eyes of those that love us so we'd all see how beautiful we are. I want to show my daughter and my sons- how to love themselves. So they have confidence where ever they go. I don't want to pass down my body-issues. So, I'm working on it. I think it will be a process. I have to remember that I'm my worst enemy in this. I can't compare myself to anyone because God made me - me. He liked me just this way and this way for a reason. He gave me a husband who thinks I am beautiful.
Now, I just need to see that too.
It's taken me a long time to love the person I am inside. I'm finally getting there. This is years coming. Now, my struggle is loving myself on the outside. I have been working on myself. Having children I think has forever altered my body. While I am trying to change things to become a healthier me, I also want to accept this body and that it's good. I struggle with that. I'm learning not to compare myself or my life.
I'm my biggest critic. I'm my worst enemy. That's not who I was created to be. That's not who I'm supposed to be. In order to be happy, I've got to accept and LOVE who I am, inside and out. I'm not good at that. I've been trying, certainly. I'm working on seeing the beauty in me. I want to. I made beautiful babies, I am a great Mom, and husband really likes being married to me! I love my job and I do good things. I like this person. So, I've got to learn to like her on the outside too.
I have never been a make up- hair done- outfit to perfect person. It's not who I am. I rarely *rarely ever wear make-up, I like comfortable clothing, and my hair is usually out of my face and off my neck. I like getting dirty from gardening, working on cars or projects, or playing with my kiddos. I love fashion, I appreciate it but I'd rather be the one behind the camera. It has taken me years to figure out who I am and to like that person. I really want to like her for all that she is.
I am messy- I just am.
I love art- I have a passion for it.
I love books and facts- and sharing those fact- sometimes obnoxiously.
I love to sing and I'm not bad at it.
I love seeing people smile and helping them.
I love putting good into the world.
I love to dance and I don't care if I look silly or stupid doing it.
I don't usually care if I look silly or stupid in public period- if it makes someone smile.
I have a huge huge heart. It's not a weakness, it's a strength.
I occasionally have sagey-widsom moments- thanks to my Mother.
I will help you and be kind to you- even if I don't like you. I believe in being a good human.
These are the things I like about myself on the inside.
On the outside:
I have pretty eyes.
I have a pretty smile.
I'm going to expand this list. I'm going to get there. This also isn't about compliments, in case anyone reads this. People have been very kind to me and have built me up over the years and I so appreciate that. It means a lot. However, this is about me loving me. I can only do that for myself. I have to find it. I wish we could all see each other through the eyes of those that love us so we'd all see how beautiful we are. I want to show my daughter and my sons- how to love themselves. So they have confidence where ever they go. I don't want to pass down my body-issues. So, I'm working on it. I think it will be a process. I have to remember that I'm my worst enemy in this. I can't compare myself to anyone because God made me - me. He liked me just this way and this way for a reason. He gave me a husband who thinks I am beautiful.
Now, I just need to see that too.