It keeps knocking me on my ass...
When I started this project I really didn't think it was going to impact me in this way. I expected this to be a feel good project that at best helped keep me happier with my family. It's funny when I'm this wrong. To start, I promise I don't mean to be preachy (I double promise. I rewrote this three times to try and avoid it as much as possible).
Key things I've learned:
for perfection and your desired expectations. Not to the degree of the impracticable
but with the idea that those unbendable things- can wiggle. You cut slack, you
understand.
each other. You empathize with someone being ugly- to see what may be causing their
actions- then you go back to grace and cut them that slack.
Key things I've learned:
- In order to be actually happy I need the following:
Peace, Forgiveness, Love, Empathy, and Grace. That is no small order. No one can
be that all the time. Not even my Mother and she's got a strong running for it. - So you start with Grace:
for perfection and your desired expectations. Not to the degree of the impracticable
but with the idea that those unbendable things- can wiggle. You cut slack, you
understand.
- How do you understand:
each other. You empathize with someone being ugly- to see what may be causing their
actions- then you go back to grace and cut them that slack.
- How do you cut them slack:
By forgiving them when they piss you off. You're not always going to feel like you can
you just choose to do it anyway.
- How do you get to Forgiveness:
By having peace. A peace that comes with having grace. Peace is something you cultivate
daily within yourself. There are various methods of doing this, from mediation, prayer,
to simply taking a deep breath and saying "I'm above letting this get to me". You can
control that peace.
- Where is love in all of this:
We love people different ways. How do you love a stranger- you love humanity and treat them with love through that. You love your family- so you act with the love that grows within you for them. Love is applied to all things because you have to love yourself and doing this reflect an inner love as well. It applies to everything.
Am I for real? Do I think I can just sit here like it's all the easy?
Like not even a little. This stuff is what takes a lifetime to learn. This is what people talk about and build philosophy on- the "key to happiness". There are books on this stuff. I'm pretty sure I don't have the depth for that.
As none of this is easy- this is why you start with grace. When you mess up, take offense, are rude to someone, or are just plan angry- you start over. You have grace with yourself and move to (if you need to) asking for forgiveness. See, I've found that actually asking for forgiveness to someone who isn't your mate- shocks people. No one expects it anymore. It can build love. There is a catharsis for you in admitting you're wrong. You can cleanse your soul.
As none of this is easy- this is why you start with grace. When you mess up, take offense, are rude to someone, or are just plan angry- you start over. You have grace with yourself and move to (if you need to) asking for forgiveness. See, I've found that actually asking for forgiveness to someone who isn't your mate- shocks people. No one expects it anymore. It can build love. There is a catharsis for you in admitting you're wrong. You can cleanse your soul.
I kinda want to just "reek" goodness you know?
I know how this sounds but I promise for starters I'm for real. I know it sounds preachy but I mean it with the heart that I am not even close to the saint level it takes to be this all the time. I still try, I find that when I try I have these experiences that show me why it's important.
What I have also found, is that many people misinterpret this in action. I get accused of being "fake" because I'm more gentle or tactful with my words. We've conditioned ourselves to think it's okay when someone just explodes on us and that we can explode back. (See every facebook fight you've ever witnessed). How does that further the world? Hey I'm not being high and mighty- I promise you I have been petty on a social network. I'm not immune. I just think that we have to stop.
"Every actions creates an equal and opposite reaction." Newtons law. Isn't it the same for how we treat each other? How we treat ourselves? All of this ties into how we live, how we live ties to how happy we are. It's all cyclical.
What I have also found, is that many people misinterpret this in action. I get accused of being "fake" because I'm more gentle or tactful with my words. We've conditioned ourselves to think it's okay when someone just explodes on us and that we can explode back. (See every facebook fight you've ever witnessed). How does that further the world? Hey I'm not being high and mighty- I promise you I have been petty on a social network. I'm not immune. I just think that we have to stop.
"Every actions creates an equal and opposite reaction." Newtons law. Isn't it the same for how we treat each other? How we treat ourselves? All of this ties into how we live, how we live ties to how happy we are. It's all cyclical.
So then, what do we do?
We try.
You may read all this and decide this isn't for you. That's okay. If you decide this is how you want to be; but find yourself struggling (Hi, I'm here with you!) then that's great! Let's stand together and just try. You can only do what you can only do. Be an agent of happiness with me? It could be fun!
You may read all this and decide this isn't for you. That's okay. If you decide this is how you want to be; but find yourself struggling (Hi, I'm here with you!) then that's great! Let's stand together and just try. You can only do what you can only do. Be an agent of happiness with me? It could be fun!
Accepting the humanness of each other, to extend grace, is a thing of beauty. There is a powerful message in seeing the vulnerability of our ugly moments. If you extend grace to someone midst ugliness you share in that beauty.
Life is a gift in every moment, if you see the gift of the bad, you can be an agent of happiness. You then build strength in others and create positive change.
You extend powerful love just by the simple act of understanding, cutting slack. To have empathy and return with kindness you create a better world.
None of this is easy, so we relinquish our own need for perfection and have grace with ourselves as well. These all go hand in hand with love, peace, happiness, and forgiveness like folding hands.
-my facebook status
In simple infographic form, because it was fun to make!
For previous happiness project posts- look to the right and click the "Happiness project" link in categories! Or look below!
For previous happiness project posts- look to the right and click the "Happiness project" link in categories! Or look below!