I know some younger women. They are searching and feel emotional. They want that- I understand wanting that. I was a 17 year old with a complex like I was a spinster who was going to die alone. It was noooo good and I ended up in toxic relationships. See, the thing is- we as women who feel incomplete in ourselves start searching for a man we think can do that for us. We want this other half who makes us make sense. A missing puzzle piece that completes our "selves".
I used to feel this way. So intensely. Here's what I have to tell you. In a real, healthy, lasting relationship- a man will never complete you. You can't expect that from another person. You have to complete yourself. Until you can love yourself, accept yourself, and be okay with yourself, you can't love another person and you burden them with having to complete you. Then- they burn out.
I love my husband. I say often "he's in my bones" as though our love is so deep, he is in my bones. However, I can be okay without him. Our relationship didn't start out that way, but we realized how unhealthy that was. Through our faith and through growth, we realized that we complete ourselves but together and with God- we complete a great marriage.
You can't look for a man to save you. You can't look for a man to be your everything or to be all you need. You can look for a partner to fix the parts of your heart that are wounded. People are always going to disappoint you. Being loved can help so much, but it doesn't fix the wounds and scars in our hearts. We have to work through those ourselves and reach out to helping hands like therapy or medication to help us become our best selves.
I owe it to my husband and my family to be the best ME I can be. My husband supports me being a great me but I'm a great Hannah because of God and who I am. Not because my husband magically completes my being. Co-dependency can seem like romance but in the end you're like matches- you spark really hot at the start but then you're relationship extinguishes and dies and it leaves you burned. A lasting relationship can be like the ocean. It goes through periods of storms and calm waters but it's current always keeps flowing. Though the current may not always remain in one direction, it is always a part of the ocean.
Love like the ocean, not like the match. You go through too many fires and then there's nothing left of your heart but ash.