I'm hard on myself when I suck and sadly, that doesn't actually fix the problem. I just get even more depressed. Trying to turn around and find the positive can be really hard when you're bouncing from one difficult thing to the next. I have wanted to run away, I have wanted to quit, I have wanted to give up. It's been hard.
When rough things happen, you feel like there should be a break period. When it's just more rough stuff, you begin to feel like you've been beaten into nothing. How you do you pick yourself up in the middle of that?
I'm trying to juggle with a body that hurts all the time, when I can't pay for my medications, when money is just a little too tight right now, when my husband is job transitioning and it wasn't planned, and I'm making stupid mistakes at work and I just can't seem to juggle it all.
I remind myself that there have been harder times. Times where I thought I would break but I got through them. I remind myself that it can't stay this way forever. I can do this. I've still got a lot of fight left in me. No matter how crappy I feel.
So, I take a deep breath, get up, and go do it.