A "mommy where do babies come from book?" Explaining a uterus when I was 8 (apparently sperm floated), a "choose mutual masturbation" alternatives to sex video in middle school, all culminating with the "miracle of tramautization (life)" video with STDS are bad and pregnancy is forever in high school.
Really, not the best introduction. In church I was taught that the "pearl" God gave me for my husband was my most prized asset and that sex was served with a cup of Shame and a side of guilt . Only marriage made sex okay but we can't talk about it so it must still be dirty.
From my family and other sourses; sex was terrifying. This really doesn't set one up for a healthy view of a natural process. Someday, my husband and I are going to have to give "the talk". Someday, I'll share my hilarious personal experience receiving the talk but my therapist and i haven't covered it yet. Knowing that I'm going to at some point be on the other side of the awkward line, what am i gonna say? I should begin with the fact that we have boys, boys are not girls, they look at sex differently. The talk I have with my currently imaginary daughter will be somewhat different. To the boys: As a young man, thoughts about sex are going to happen. Start by accepting them and not letting them embarrass you. Two, keep your thoughts about sex to places you aren't going to be embarrassed, but things happen so be prepared to deal.
Three, aex is not something shameful, but you should never behave in a way that would lead to the shame of another. Your sex life be it active or inactive is not related to your self worth, that being said, how you treat others and how you respect them will reflect on how you value yourself and others.Sex, out of the confines of marriage happens. It can lead to life long consequences. Sex, within the vows of marriage is awesome. It doesn't diminish it, in fact it enhances it. There's also less risk, so please deeply consider that. Please consider the fact that the temporary pleasure of now, can affect how you have pleasure in the future. Nothing is risk free and you dont "only live once" (i catch you saying that and you're grounded). If you want to know the mechanics of sex, please ask your father. If you want condoms or have made a mistake, ask me. Here's why: i don't want to explain the mechanics of sex to you and think you're Dad is more fitted to the job. No, that wasn't a pun. Now: because you can't be afraid to talk to me, I'll always love and accept you. I may disagree with your choices, i may remind you of the consequences, and I may tell you that you're too young for certain behaviors, even go so far as to prevent you from doing them. What i won't do is reject you, shut you down, shame you, or humiliate you. I hope, that you'll know respect enough to know how to behave. That, like your Father you'll shun that which disrespects others but in case your tempted:
Would you have your Mother, Sister, or Grandmother, treated the way you would treat a girl. If the answer is yes, good job. If how you are about to treat a woman, would upset you to see me treated as such, then you got a problem. First, I hope none of you are too uncomfortable reading that. Ib post it here because I recently.saw an article on the way we present sex in our culture to our children. We have an affect on them, what we say has an affect on their perceptions. This, is how we plan to approach this. Have you considered your plan?