Elena's Birth Story
Since it was also the one year anniversary of when we lost Grandpa (my Mother's Dad) Mom wanted us to visit the cemetery; because it was the one year anniversary Mom wanted to be at the grave site at the same time that she'd found his body the year before. So, at One pm we arrive at the cemetery. We had also brought Josh along. It was a pretty cold day and we weren't saying much. Josh was running off and Mom and I were having a somber moment over Grandpa and Grandma's headstone. Suddenly I look over at my Mom and the only words out of my mouth were...
"I'm not peeing." "Mom, I'm not peeing."
So, were zooming off to the hospital calling the OB, calling Kai, notifying everyone on the list! Ma drops Kai and I off to the hospital while she takes Joshie over to Dad. We get up to labor and delivery and they begin the rigmarole of seeing if I'm actually in labor. Sometimes women mistake urinating for losing their water (which is why the first thing out of my mouth was that I wasn't peeing). They hook me on the fetal monitor and they use these test strips to determine if it's amniotic fluid or not. Hilariously my first two tests were negative. They were going to send me home and I was damn sure I wasn't peeing my pants!!! The nurse has me get up to head to the bathroom and there was another gush (gross I know). Now I was getting a little upset, it was clear this was my water and I really didn't like being this messy. Thankfully she got a positive test and then it was final.
We were here to have a baby!
Labor wasn't doing a lot. I wasn't contracting much on my own and the contractions I was having were really tiny. They had me try walking.
"Now Sissy that walk!"
So the OB approved the pit and I got hooked up. The thing about pit contractions is that they are stronger, harder, and faster than natural labor. So once they get going they can really really hurt. I managed to withstand that for about 5 hours but with the back labor it was beginning to get to be too much. I had hardly slept the past several weeks and the night before I had had really poor sleep. My body was tired and the pain was intense. I was afraid if I exhausted myself trying to keep up with contractions I wouldn't have the strength needed when it came time to push.
I finally couldn't take it anymore and I asked for the epidural. Now, similarly to with Josh's birth, I felt like I was caving, that I was somehow failing at labor for not holding out longer. Tanya and really everyone was awesome at encouraging me. There is no win or lose at labor. The bottom line is you get to have a baby.
It felt like an hour before they got the anesthesiologist to the room (it may have been less but in that much pain it felt like forever). Thankfully this time around I got to lean on Kai while they hooked me up with the medication. By the end of it I had my face buried in his belly and I just didn't want to move. The blessing is epidurals work very quickly and I've had mine without complication. It didn't hurt to put in (some mild discomfort with the numbing needle but honestly no worse than an IV, with my first one I didn't feel it at all).
We had a few scary moments after the epidural. The baby's heart rate was dropping. I then panicked about her pitted too high and then had guilt that my need for an epidural would mean I'd require a c-section. They gave me a shot of some kind of amphetamine to boost our heart rates. So it evened hers our (mine was pounding in my ears). However crisis averted.
It was good I got the epidural when I did because the next 4 cm's came in 2 hours and suddenly I was at an 8!!!
"You wanna catch?"
and we waited... and we waited... and we waited...
Finally he was there and it was time to push. After only a couple pushes she was out!! My daughter had arrived. I got to hold her right away, a privilege I didn't get with Josh. The wash of hormones and Mommy love hit me and I was holding this darling little girl. She captured us from the moment she was born. She was beautiful. Nothing compares to the first minutes with your child. It's incredible. This precious little being that you've carried, sacrificed for, and brought into the world through pain and determination is here.
The pain, the struggle, the discomfort, it's worth it. All of it is worth it.
Sadly I've had some complications of my own. A painful uterine infections that's had me running to the ER myself, doped up on narcotics, and taking strong antibiotics. That's made my recovery from this much harder.
Still in the middle of all of that- this has been and incredibly blessed time. I thought it would be too much having three kids. However I have so enjoyed our time together. We are so full of love, even in the middle of chaos we capture these beautiful moments of joy. Our life as a whole is so happy.