I hate social media. I hate that it an outlet for lies, drama, bullying, and bullcrap. I don't like to get involved in it. I keep my facebook strictly for communicating the positive things with the people I love. It is so very very hard, when there are blatant lies and horrible things being spread about someone I care about, not to want to step in.
I believe that offense is bad, even when I feel righteous about it and even when I'm defending a friend. It is so very easy to get sucked into the trap of chiming in. I want to sit there with my proof and my testimony that blows these lies out of the water and call "bullcrap". I want to say "YOU ARE WRONG!" I even typed out a very long comment with screenshots to illustrate my point and show they were very very wrong- it made it a full 3 mins before I deleted it. I didn't delete it because it was inaccurate and it wasn't even mean, I didn't name call- but I realize engaging in this would be feeding the monster.
I don't want to be just like them.
I have my character defamed and I've had lies and hurtful things put on social media about me. It really really sucked. It was a situation of a person who wanted to hurt me, lashing out in that hurt and using social media as the tool, and I couldn't defend myself. So I simply chose not to address it. I believed that the goodness of my character and my choices would have to stand out as proof enough.
It's hard though, when you see the unjustness against a friend. When suddenly people separate into camps and the hunting posse's form and are out for blood.
Here's the thing: unless we are directly parties involved, unless we are witnesses to the whole story- we can never really know. Even the people we trust have their own version of the truth through their bias and standpoint. While it may be an accurate truth, we will miss sometimes small but important details. So, we shouldn't make a judgement. We want too, it's easy too. We want to take someone's word for it. We want to use our history with the parties involved as further proof and "hey I don't like that guy so it MUST be true." This kind of thinking is bad.
We all screw up, we all have done things we aren't proud of, some of us have had the blessing of not being publicly humiliated by them. That doesn't make us guiltless stainless parties available for judgement. It hurts to be judged. We all hate it and yet it in these situations we are all so quick to do so. It's no good.
I promise, I'm as guilty as everyone else but I'm trying to be different. I'm trying to just be a voice of the positive and not feeding the monster of the cyber bully. Maybe you can too? No one claims to love the drama- but we do. So can we instead band together and say "Enough". No one likes this when it's directed at them. So can we work together not to cast the first stone?
Thanks everyone!
Enter Several Hours later:
I didn't name call or try and hurt anyone. That isn't my game but I did comment and part of me wishes I hadn't. I wanted to defend my friend, it hurt to see his character drug through the mud. It wanted to impartially defend him but life is never that clear. I tried to keep my outside knowledge of the people, my personal bias, and my own opinions of the parties out of it and state what is a matter of public record. However, I still engaged in the fiasco and I'm a little disappointed in myself that I did.
I stand by the things I say and I'm not a person out to get into drama or promote more hatred. I hope the parties involved in that incident can sort out the issues outside the realm of public opinion. In the court of public opinion often nobody wins and the consequences will keep reeling for a long time.
I'm not a liar, I admit when I'm not living up to the standard I wish. So yeah, this morning, I had every intention of remaining silent and doing my best not to feed the monster- but I commented. I still believe what I believe but I'm also not perfect. So I hope you can have grace with me. Wouldn't the world be a little better if we all did?
Next time guys. I'll do better.
Thanks for reading.