First off, it will be okay. I know, you're habitual state of loneliness and dramatics thinking you'll die alone if you haven't met your soul mate by 16 but I promise you- it will be okay.
I know, you feel really big and you haven't figured out how to explain that to anyone or control it yet. You'll learn. You'll have to hurt a lot first. I'm not going to spare you that, you learn a lot from all that heartbreak.
I will tell you this. Start loving yourself. You have a great smile and a huge heart. It's okay to love yourself and believe in yourself. You seem to only manage that when someone else is pushing that. You're enough.
You seem not to realize that high school will end and you'll move away from the things that are important there. Never stop learning, never be ashamed of your mind or let anyone belittle you for it. You don't have to dumb yourself down for anyone. Usually though, you don't- because you wouldn't know how.
You're always wanting to be older. Be in the right now. Savor it. You're growing up too fast anyway. Once you're old enough it loses it's flavor. Taste youth and relish in it but don't be stupid.
Right before your 19th birthday- don't go. Don't go. That, I wish I could have saved you from. You'll heal though. You're stronger than they've ever given you credit for.
At 18 we lose her. That one was hard, it took 2 week. At 22 we lose him. That was harder. You're knees hit the floor and you wept. So visit him more. He was proud of you though. He loved you so much. He walks you down the aisle and sees your first child and nothing can take that away.
Look, you're really dramatic, cultivate that in a healthy way instead of letting it crush you. Probably don't post your poems online, you'll REALLY regret that later. Don't screw up your first car and finish learning to fix it yourself. Put those Auto-shop classes to good use, that'll make your Dad pleased.
No hunny, he wasn't the "one". You dodge a bullet. You dodge a few of them, not all but enough. You do get the guy in the end. He's everything God promised you and more. He can James Dean with the best of them and he loves you so completely you can hardly believe it. He's your Nathan Scott, your Adam, but he's better. You have these heart-stoppingly beautiful kids.
It ends out okay. You're going to go through it. Don't pick up that first cigarette and do pick up every book you find. Finish your album and write your novel. It doesn't matter if they suck.
I'm proud of you. You are dramatic, you are high maintenance, you are an artist. You are also a great kid. You like what you like and wear it proudly. I wish I could get you to stop trying to please every body but we're working on it. You are actually cool, screw anyone who doesn't think so and maybe memorize some more witty quips.
By 23, you like yourself. For the first time in your life. You actually love who you are. You love what you do and you love your life. No one can take that away from you. You have a great husband and great kids. It's all you ever wanted. You love your job and are passionate about it. You wanted that too. You didn't go to college, which disappointed a few people, but that's okay. You're doing something that betters the world and you're damn good at it.
At night, in Feb. Get out of the water. In fact never go in. Thank your lucky stars that didn't kill you and stop moping. Nothing is worth that. No circumstance or person or event is worth that. This is not your forever and you have so much to live for.
Lastly, don't you dare ever disrespect your Mother. I know you don't always like her but she's doing her damn best. She gets you better than anyone else right now and she means well. The big feelings are hard. You'll make it out of this alive I promise. Now, she's your best friend. You talk nearly every day. Also, keep your room at Julie's clean and tell her you love her more- and get your ass home on time. You'll have all the freedom you want soon enough. Be a damn kid.
Don't fall for the supposedly "deep" people- they are vapid teens trying to figure it out just like you. Zero teenagers are "oh so superior"- that includes you. You've got nothing to prove to anyone. You're cute and smart.
Don't forget, it's going to be okay. Water off a ducks back kiddo. Keep on keeping on.
PS: You'll regret more the confidence you didn't have, than by risking embarrassing yourself by taking a chance.